When your gone
by QUEEN EEVEE
Summary: Preciousmetalshipping. 'His heart sank and without thinking he jumped in to save him. The water was freezing and all the air rushed out of his lungs but it didn't stop him from trying to swim towards him. About half way he realised he couldn't swim'


E.S.P: Literally no one has any idea where this story came from.

QE:It wouldn't let me sleep for two days.:/

Evestar:The Song belongs to Avril Lavigne and is called When your gone.

E.S.P:QE owns nothing and if she did You could fight Silver at Dragon's den.

QE:Yeah. Why can't you? Normally when you make eye contact or talk to people they attack you.

Evestar:Story of your life.

QE:Shut up.

E.S.P:Oh yeah. Blue is a girls name and therefore Blue is the female and Green is male._  
><em>

* * *

><p><em>I always needed time on my own<br>I never thought I'd need you there when I cry  
>And the days feel like years when I'm alone<br>And the bed where you lie is made up on your side_

The red head walked through the dark and dingy cave and looked out over the water that gave way to island in the middle. Like routine he always ended up here. Like always he stood in the middle trying to train and like always he hoped someone would turn up.

There was the girl. She annoyed him. She was always happy and like a yoyo she managed to switch between happy and determined and it gave him a headache. There was also the dragon gym leader but she didn't like him much and often vocalises her disgust as to why he had been let in.

"Hey."

Red hair whipped around as he looked on top of one of the old support beams. Standing there was a dark haired guy wearing a red jumper and shorts. He was wearing goggles over his eyes and he was holding the billiard cue behind his head.

"You're going to kill yourself." He stated not really caring.

"Yeah. Well so is the Dratini." He pointed to his capless head. "What to help look for it?"

He shook his head and summoned his Feraligatr and swam to the island and just watched. He didn't bother training but he let everyone out. He let them run around.

He couldn't stop himself being fascinated by the moron on the other side of the body of water. He used his Politoed to flush out the Dratini with his very wet hat then a mixture of him with the billiards cue and Aipom and Togekiss to get the hat. Other than Politoed they were all failing badly at capturing the hat.

He found himself watching the other boy's every movement. He felt as if he was with him every stumble every almost fall.

Every so often he was glance up at him and grin like a moron only to go back to stumbling and tripping. He stared fascinated and watched him dance about trying to get a stupid piece of fabric held together by string.

Only one time he didn't recover and he fell straight into the water.

His heart sank and without thinking he jumped in to save him. The water was freezing and all the air rushed out of his lungs but it didn't stop him from trying to swim towards him. About half way he stupidly realised he couldn't swim and started sinking.

He started to take in water and he couldn't breathe. He started to splash around in hopes of regaining whatever ability he previously had.

A pair of strong arms wrapped around him and his head was pulled through the surface. His desperately grabbed on to the warmish body and refused to let go.

"Aww you were worried about me." The smug git smiled at him.

He glared at him but inside he felt horribly gooey.

"By the way. You are an awful swimmer." He laughed handing him up to his Thyplosion.

He sat near the warmth and refused to move.

"You do know you'll die of hypothermia." He stated stripping himself. "You need to get the wet clothes off. They suck the heat out of you." He threw some clothes at him. He waggled his eyebrows. "We could always cuddle."

"Fuck off." He yelled while trying to beat him over the head.

_When you walk away I count the steps that you take  
>Do you see how much I need you right now?<br>_

Yellow for once looked like a girl. Red and Blue had made her dress up and went the whole ten yards to make her look beautiful for her sixteenth. They even curled her hair and refused to let her wear it in a ponytatail. Her dress was given appearance of being woven by gold and silk.

Gold was joking about with the current champion about how sexy Yellow was tonight and made as many lewd comments as possible. Red ended up punching him out cold just so he would shut up.

Yellow spent most of the night hiding around Silver. Not that he cared. He just didn't want to end up like Gold. Red was being very territorial tonight.

Yellow pressed against him shivering.

"Would you like my jacket?" He asked while looking around for Red. He so wasn't getting punched. He spotted his Pikachu chatting up Yellow's but no Red.

"Please." She smiled.

"Oh yeah Happy Birthday." His eyes lingered on Blue before he looked away. She was happy and he needed to be happy for her. He couldn't think of what could have happened.

"Thanks." She sounded distant. "Can I ask a question?"

"No." He stated simply. He was curious what the question was but Yellow never asked or begged. She just watched Red threaten the just regained conscious Gold. "What?" He asked finally.

"Gold likes you." She stated.

"That's not a question." He then realised what she said. "No he doesn't. He's a guy and I'm a guy. That would never work."

"You said I couldn't ask a question. Anyway. He keeps looking over here and he keeps looking at us weird." She sighed. "Like we are a couple and he wants to know how."

"How does that mean he likes me?" He asked getting slightly irritated.

"Oh that doesn't. He told me." She smiled.

Silver couldn't understand. No one liked him. He was only here because they felt sorry for him like he was a hopeless case.

"You know not long after you almost drowned."

_When you're gone  
>The pieces of my heart are missing you<br>When you're gone  
>The face I came to know is missing too<br>_

"Hey."

He turned from the sunset to see Gold sitting really close to him. Their hands were almost touching. He turned away before his face turned red. He remembered very clearly what Yellow had said. It made it very hard for him to be around Gold. He wanted to know why he couldn't see him the way everyone else saw him.

"I was wondering if you wanted to go and get some ice cream or something?" Gold asked kicking his legs out in front of him.

"No." He absolutely didn't want to be with Gold. Especially when Gold realised everyone else was right and he wasn't worth the effort.

"Why?" He sounded like a whiny little brat.

"She told me." Silver got up and walked away. He just couldn't cope being around Gold. He left him feeling sick and disorientated and his chest was killing him. Like someone had bind it and was tugging really hard at it so everything was about to burst out.

He heard someone following him but he kept his head down and continued walking.

"Silver please stop." Hearing Gold's voice he started to move quicker.

As he moved quicker so did the footsteps.

He didn't stop. He couldn't stop. If he stopped then it meant he had to face it. Face the rejection that was surely to come. Face the heartache. The pain. He didn't want to. He had already taken too much. Why couldn't it? Why won't anyone let it stop? Why did he have to take it if everyone else had to as well?

Had he been focusing where he was going he wouldn't have tripped over the tree root. As he came tumbling down he was winded so he couldn't get back up quickly enough and Gold caught up with him. He tried to push him off. To make him let go of him but Gold had his fingers wrapped around his arm tightly in an attempt to keep him there.

"Silver let me explain." Gold said completely out of breathe. "I didn't know it was your room and Yellow couldn't stop laughing when I filled it up with balloons. I'm sorry."

Silver blinked at him. Then blinked again. He had no idea what Gold was going on about.

"So yeah." Gold dryly laughed. "I'm sorry. I didn't know."

"What are you on about?" Silver asked.

Gold looked at him gone out. "Nothing."

Silver sighed and looked away. Either Gold had already decided he wasn't worth the time why was he here and if Yellow lied why would she lie.

"So what did Yell tell you?" Gold asked interested. He lent forwards with both hands on either side of him and they faces were only a centimetre apart.

He looked away. "About me drowning."

"Oh." Gold looked away and backed off.

They sat like that in silence.

"I thought you were going to die ok. What else was I supposed to do? Let you die?" Gold asked. "I know you're proud and everything but the idea of losing you was too intense." He stood up. "I'm sorry."

Just when he was out of reach Silver finally spoke. "She said 'you like me' but I know you'll be just like everyone else and leave me. So save us all the trouble and not bother." He walked away unable to hear anything Gold had to say to him.

When he crashed out in the rented room in the pokemon centre he pulled the covers over him and willed himself to sleep. He never got undress except kicking his boots off.

He felt as if he was frozen inside, like an icicle that wore a human suit. He wasn't even a pokemon but condensed water.

An obnoxious noise filled his room and he sat up groaning and glared at the little plastic device. He placed the pokegear to his ear.

"What?" He growled.

"I can't believe you broke all my hard work." Yellow laughed. "Red pack it in." Someone on the other end blew a raspberry. "Hey sorry. He was pulling faces. Anyway I worked so hard on you two." She huffed. "I even dressed up so Blue and Red would help me. You are both freaking morons. You owe me a birthday present Silver and I want you and Gold to kiss."

He stared at the imaginary Yellow and glared at it. "Don't I get a say?" He knew the answer.

She sighed. "Fine." Yellow always surprised him. "My present from you is for you to smile properly. Not a 'here's a smile now go away' but a 'I'm happy and I will smile on my own accords' kind of smile. So, no cheating."

"You're weird." He stated hanging up.

Yellow was good at getting what she wanted. He found that out the hard way.

"So she yelled at you two." Gold laughed when he finally arrived in the mess hall.

"Shut up." He grumbled.

They sat in silence except for Gold drumming away on the table.

"I never told her I liked you." Gold stated. "I always thought you hated me so I never carried on any thoughts other than oh he's so cute."

Silver glared at him but he wasn't looking. Inside his chest was hurting so bad it was going to explode.

He closed his eyes and was going to turn away when something soft touched his lips. He couldn't stop the smile going to his lips. He wanted it not to happen so there wouldn't be any pain, now or later.

Something flashed causing his eyes to snap open.

"Thanks." Yellow smiled holding up a camera. "You two are so adorable." She giggled while waving the camera at Gold. "Don't you think your mum and all you're exs would want to see this?"

Gold lunged over the table after her and she squealed before running.

"Give it here."

"No." She yelped running for her life.

Silver sighed and went back to bed. At least now everyone will leave him alone.

Unfortunately all the locks in the pokemon centre weren't that good. Getting in and out was hard but you had full range of inside and Gold got into his room.

"Yellow's a bitch. She keeps telling me stuff I don't want to hear."

Silver pulled the cover further over his head.

"I will us attract on you now I know you don't hate me."

He sighed and sat up and glared at Gold. "How?"

"Like this." Gold lent forwards and kissed Silver properly. When Silver stopped fighting he pushed him backwards onto the bed. He mentally cheered when Silver's hands started wondering and gripped him tightly not trying to push him away like he expected.

When they separated to breathe Gold noted Silver's eyes had taken on a watery look. "See."

He quickly placed his hand on his cheek so Silver couldn't look away.

_When you're gone  
>The words I need to hear to always get me through<br>The day and make it ok  
>I miss you<br>_

Gold refused to let go of Silver's hand when he forcible made Silver show him his house.

Silver couldn't look at him when they came in sight of the derelict two story house that looked unlove and untouched.

"You live here?" Gold asked out loud.

Silver nodded and refused to look at either him or the house. Just because it was his, didn't mean he had to like it or live there. He was happy enough just to stay in a pokemon centre when it got too cold.

"I think I can save it. If you're up for it?" Gold stated way too happily.

Silver shook his head. It was a lost cause and there was no way it could be saved.

"I'm not gonna listen and save it anyway." Gold stated childishly and dragged him towards the front door that was about falling in. "First we're going to paint the front door." He kissed Silver's cheek. "Then we're gonna fill in all the holes and finally make it happy inside as well as out."

Silver didn't say anything but he nodded. He couldn't understand why A Gold was still here and B why he was so bothered by the house. It was just a house but he didn't say anything and let Gold have whatever it was he wanted. He didn't think it would last anyway.

_I've never felt this way before  
>Everything that I do reminds me of you<br>And the clothes you left, they lie on the floor  
>And they smell just like you, I love the things that you do<br>_

"I love you." Gold grinned. His face was barely millimetres from Silver's.

"Good for you." Silver replied as disinterested as possible as he pushed the newspaper he was pretending to read between them.

"But I love you." Gold smiled pushing the paper down. He tried to perch himself over Silver's lap so he had to pay attention to him.

"Gold. Go away. I'm not in the mood." Silver sighed trying to push Gold off him.

Gold was not impressed and latched himself on tighter. "I love you."

"You're worse than Togekiss." Silver grumbled. He put the paper back up over his face and tried to ignore the pout that normal got him to cave.

"But I love you." Gold said as childishly as possible while fiddling with the buttons on Silver's jacket. They were being as stubborn as their owner.

Silver did no more that push his hand away. Gold thought it was weird as normally he would have yelled at him by now.

"I love you." He stated only for his good mood to quickly vanish.

"GOLD STOP SAYING THAT." Silver yelled he had enough. He stood up and literally pushed Gold onto the floor. They both ignored the tear tracks that were not running down Silver's cheeks.

"Stop saying what?" The other male asked looking puzzled. "What I love you?"

"Yes." Silver was beyond stressed out and was currently digging his nails into his palms.

"No. A I just feel like it and B I know you don't say it back. I'm alright with that it's just you and I know you love me." Gold stated as he picked himself up. He didn't know how badly that could affect Silver and he was feeling like a dick because of it. He pulled the shaking Silver into his arms and just held him. Normally Silver would just push him away but now he lent into Gold and held him as tightly as possible while shaking.

_When you walk away I count the steps that you take  
>Do you see how much I need you right now?<em>

_When you're gone  
>The pieces of my heart are missing you<br>And when you're gone  
>The face I came to know is missing too<br>_

Silver walked into their tiny house and promptly walked straight back out again. Gold was redecorating the bedroom again if the bed leaning up against the wall was anything to go by. He couldn't cope with that anymore. Last time he had yellow paint stuck in his hair for ages. They had to cut it out in the end. He was also never letting Gold near his hair ever again. He had a random bit sticking up and it irked him.

He stood outside wondering what to do. He sighed and headed off to Viridian and left Gold to his craziness.

When he returned back later that night he was no more prepared and couldn't walk in. He had three battles and got something to eat at a cafe before deciding it might be a good idea to come back. He first stopped by the bakery and brought Gold some of his favourite cake and stood useless by the front door.

"I wondered when you were coming back."

He thought he heard some disappointment from Gold but he wasn't sure so he left it.

He shoved the box of cakes into the unsuspecting Gold's hands and walked by.

"Don't you want to see the room?" For some reason Gold couldn't look at him.

Silver nodded and headed upstairs. Their bedroom had been painted white with gold and silver trim painted on the furniture and even the door was the same. Their bed even had new bedding and Gold's pokemon were currently crashed out on the floor with splodges of paint covering them. They were going to need a new carpet but everything looked beautiful.

He headed downstairs to the kitchen where Gold was. "It's nice." He simply stated.

Gold sighed rubbing one side of his cheek with a towel. The other cheek had a little gold stickman on it and the silver smudge suggested the same on the other cheek. "Is that it?" For some reason unbeknown to Silver, Gold sounded annoyed. "Gee Silver push the boat out why don't you."

Silver went forward to hug him. Gold was always one of hugs. He always got hugs off Gold when he was annoyed so he assumed Gold would want the same from him.

He tried not to look heart broken when Gold moved out of his way.

"Just don't bother coming up tonight." He went upstairs with an air of finality.

Silver had no idea what he had done wrong. Unless Gold was starting to see why people hated him. That had to be the explanation. How long before Gold realised he wasn't worth all the trouble? His legs gave way and he sat on the kitchen floor. How long before Gold wanted him out of his life? How long did he have left? He wrapped his arms tightly around his legs and tried to ignore the creeping cold. He started to think of what could have caused the sudden realisation and started to rock for warmth.

He had no idea how long he had been sitting like that for but his legs were numb and his arms hurt. The sun had long left the sky and he pulled himself off the floor with some effort and dragged himself to the sofa where he crashed out. All the while ignoring the wet stickiness from around his eyes. He curled up into a tight ball and willed himself to sleep hoping that would provide answers to the pain in his heart. He couldn't lose Gold. He was sure if he lost him his heart would stop beating.

_And when you're gone  
>The words I need to hear to always get me through<br>The day and make it ok  
>I miss you<em>

We were made for each other  
>Out here forever<br>I know we were, yeah

Gold glared at him. To be honest it was the first time and slightly unnerving. Silver just didn't visible react. Inside he was terrified.

"I got lost once." He glared. "And you're pissed at me. You get lost all the time."

"It's Blue and Green's engagement party." Gold half yelled out.

They were both at the road side and shivering their skin off. Water poured more despair on the situation. Like needles of icy rain and misery.

Gold crossed his arms turned away. "You just don't want to admit you still love Blue and you don't want her to be happy."

"Shut the fuck up." He snapped. "I love you, you fucking moron." He didn't know if he was shaking from the cold anymore or from anger. "I think we took the second turn but if you didn't go chasing that stupid Pidove we wouldn't be so late."

"Me and the Pidove? If you weren't so cheap we would have been there yesterday." Gold yelled at him.

Something huge drove by and water was sprayed over them.

"Why the hell do I stay with you?" Gold yelled. It was like a slap to Silver's face.

He walked away.

Something screeched and Silver lunged forwards.

_And all I ever wanted was for you to know  
>Everything I'd do, I'd give my heart and soul<br>I can hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me, yeah  
><em>

Everything was bright and white and loud. People were talking too loudly. Yelling at him and everyone else.

Memories of screeching metal and screams and Gold.

He tried looking around for Gold. Was he ok? Where was he?

He was shaking. He needed to know where he was.

He tried yelling out. People had to hold him down. They were trying to tell him stuff but it wasn't working. He needed to see Gold to say sorry. He needed to know Gold was ok.

"We're losing him." Someone in the mist of voices stated.

He cried out. He couldn't lose Gold. They needed to save him. Why weren't they saving him? Didn't they know he didn't want to exist without Gold?

Someone called out his name and he desperately tried to reach out. To yell at them save Gold. He was too important not to save.

_When you're gone  
>The pieces of my heart are missing you<br>And when you're gone  
>The face I came to know is missing too<br>_

He stood by the door watching Gold crying in that horrible yellow floral chair they had argued about. His face was still partially bandaged up and his throwing arm was in a sling. He just watched and wanted to say sorry but his stubborn nature got in the way.

Everyone blamed him. They would walk in and talk to Gold and just ignored him. They walked by and chatted to him. Their pokemon took on the duty of taking care of the household. Even his own pokemon ignored him and helped everyone look after Gold. He was used to people not wanting him around so he moved into another room and ignored them.

He didn't blame them.

Everyone had left Gold alone for the first time in a while so he stood at the back of the room desperately trying to say sorry and hug Gold. Tell him he's sorry and hug him and hold him. Everything was just too much and he couldn't do anything. He was so closed to breaking down.

"Silver." Gold called out weakly.

His head snapped up and he looked.

"I'm sorry." Silver wanted to say he had nothing to be sorry about but he continued. "Why?" He cried.

Silver didn't understand the question. They were having an argument and the car...

"Why did you die?" Gold cried.

_And when you're gone  
>All the words I need to hear will always get me through<br>The day and make it ok  
>I miss you<em>


End file.
